What the...?

I do not know how people who do not have their lives entrusted to God are able to stay sane. I can't imagine the ball of stress and crazy person I would be if I felt like I was the one in charge of my life.

It's seems like for quite some time Justin and I have been doing a lot of waiting and our questions have been answered with a lot of silence. We have not heard a lot as far as how our clearance is coming along. Any career or job I've tried to pursue in regards to teaching has also been void of any answer or direction. When Justin was promoted we finally felt like that was a way of God directing us to where we will move next and what He has planned for us next. So, we started making plans off of that. We started looking at places to live in Seattle and I started to look or jobs in that area.

Well, then on one day I received two voice mails within the same hour. The first one was from a school that needs a full time teacher and was wanting to meet with me. The second message was from Youth For Christ to let us know that our clearance is only abut three weeks out and that it will soon be time to schedule our home inspection.

All great news, right? Well, with Justin's schedule being as crazy as it is, if I took a full time teaching job we would never see each other. Then if we are cleared in less than one month, we could have a child placed in our home shortly after that. Furthermore, if we are cleared and then move, we will have to do the home inspection over again. But, is it possible to move in such short amount of time?

I was so stressed because it seemed that after not having any direction or options for months, there were suddenly too many before us. I couldn't see how it would all possibly work out and I had no idea what decision I was supposed to make.

Then I was reminded of something by my wonderful husband. It's not up to me. God has it all figured out and is going to work all this out as well. He knows where we're going to live, He knows when we need to move, and He knows what kind of job I will or will not have. These huge decisions are not up to me, because I am not the one in control of my life, God is. God is in control, so I don't have to be. What a freeing knowledge that is to be able to cling to and rest in. I can't wait to see how He works all this out.